Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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