I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
is wine microwaveable?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He passed out mid-signature
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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