Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
