batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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