About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
