whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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