i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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