I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
