Can Purell be used as lube?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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