Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
