they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
