Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
