she looked like the before picture.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I understand Curling. That high.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
