I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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