Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
