Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
