I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
