ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
