i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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