I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
