Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We got so high we made milksteak
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
