Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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