the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize