Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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