bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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