Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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