spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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