i think my mom watched the whole time
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
