I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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