I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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