i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Pants are for mortals
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize