have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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