he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
