I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
