I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
