Your tits are I can't wait for
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
