party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
