Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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