You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
