how can u be prego again
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
