the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
