Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
