i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
