Need sex. Gaining weight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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