i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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