he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
