I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He better not be in your backpack
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
