my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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