make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
