Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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