She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
