He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
