If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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