never play flip cup with pint glasses
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize