You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
