the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
