thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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