um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
