Little spoons don't ask big questions
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
