im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
