i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
