How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
is that a dick in a sweater?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
