Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life

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(951): View more from California

Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries

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(973): View more from New Jersey

and then he started using my ass as a stressball

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(815): View more from Illinois

He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him

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(773): View more from Illinois

im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates

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