life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
