I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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