WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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